Hey there! This post is all about – Appreciation! The element found scarcely in today’s’ world. So why is appreciation important for us? For our children? Indeed, praising our children maximizes their sense of self-esteem and confidence. But, how to praise a child with words and action?

So, here are some necessary reminders for our dear parents and practical tips to master the art of praising a child and raising self confident young individuals.

Why is Appreciation Important?

First, before we move into the “how,” let’s take a moment here to overview why appreciation is so important. Certainly, praising our kids in an exceedingly honest and effective way will boost their self-image. In addition, effective praising strengthens both good behaviors and attitudes. Studies show that children who receive praise for their hard efforts and progress are more likely to develop a growth mindset and be persistent through challenges.

As Alfie Kohn, a parenting expert, wisely says,

The opposite of spoiling a child isn’t being strict or controlling. It’s being attentive and emotionally responsive.

How to Praise a Child with Words?

Words have the power to uplift, motivate, and build confidence. When we express appreciation verbally, we acknowledge the value of someone’s actions, fostering a sense of validation and recognition. Here are a few tips on how to appreciate a child with words:

• Be Specific and Authentic: Instead of saying general things like “good job,” try to make your praise both specific and real. Like, “I’m really proud at how you showed kindness to your friend by sharing your toys. It was so thoughtful of you.”
• Focus on Effort and Progress: Nurture a growth mindset by praising the effort and progress of your child. For example, “I saw you working really hard on that puzzle, even when it got really tough. You did not give up, so you should be very proud.”
• Offer Positive Reinforcement: Give positive reinforcement by appreciating your child whenever he/she shows a desired behavior. For example, you can say, “I really do appreciate the way you cleaned up your toys without my having to ask you. Thanks for being such a big help!”
• Always Avoid Over Praise: Praise might be crucial, but overdoing it can cause a lot of harm. Too much appreciation can develop big egos or even habits of always seeking external praises. Rather, shower sincere praises for milestones reached and efforts made.

Why Do Actions Matter?

Indeed, actions speak louder than words. Actions can provide immediate feedback, create a deeper emotional connection, and are often more genuine and authentic. So, here are few suggestions for appreciation through action:

• Show Affection: . Demonstrate your love and appreciation for the child through affectionate gestures like hugs or pats on the back. Physical touch can show warmth and reassurance, reinforcing your verbal praise.
• Spend Quality Time: One of the best ways to encourage your child is through quality time. Do some activities they like, listen to their stories or coloring in their books.
• Celebrate Success: Whether your child achieves small milestones or something big, celebrate it with him/her. Plan an outing or make their special dish as an acknowledgement for their success to make them feel worthy and special.
• Be a Role Model in Positive Behavior: Your own character and attitude shall impart your values onto your child. When you reflect kindness, resilience, and perseverance in their actions, it will be quite apparent to your child.

The Dreaded Question: What If My Child Becomes Too Dependant on Appreciation?

Indeed, a valid concern for parents today. If the child is overpraised or praised constantly, he or she may take it as a requisite for doing anything. They will develop this dependency on appreciation to perform, otherwise it will not be done. However, how to praise a child with words and action is an art. Here are some ways to learn that too:

• As a start, praise should never be interchanged with encouragement. Praise focuses on the product or the outcome of an action, while encouragement relates to process and effort
• Secondly, parents could allow children to get involved in a decision-making process and give them the lead in their tasks. This action shall promote independence and autonomy.
• Thirdly, parents are encouraged not to use words of praise alone. Rather, they could incorporate constructive feedbacks. Like “Really, beautiful! You showed creativity in your artwork. Consider adding more vibrant colors to make it eye-catching. Keep up the good work, and don’t be afraid to experiment!”

While it may seem appropriate to praise less, if children become overly dependent on it. However, simply reducing praise may not address the underlying issue. In fact, we need to encourage children and shift their focus from external praise to internal motivation. As the renowned parenting expert, Carol Dweck precisely expressed:

Praise effort, not talent. It’s effort that makes champions.

In conclusion:

In the parenting journey, appreciative parenting is the beacon of light that shines brightest. It is vital to learn, how to praise a child with words and actions as it equips the child with emotional and physical well-being. So let’s celebrate their milestones, acknowledge their strength and weaknesses and appreciate them along the journey. Remember, a little bit of praise does go a long way in raising confident, resilient, and happy kids.