Parenting, much like the ebb and flow of life, has undergone a tremendous transformation over the years. The stern “tight slap” that echoed through the doors has transformed into “comforting hugs.” In this blog post , we journey through the basic transformation in parenting style, diving into the benefits of hugs and drawbacks of slapping, a classic  disciplinary methods. We shall discover the tremendous generation change and delightful ways to continue showering affection even in the midst of troublesome moments with our little ones.

The Power of Hugs: Benefits Beyond Measure

1. A Neurological Medicine: Hugs aren’t just warm and fuzzy; they also play the role of medicine for our bodies. As neuroscientist Temple Grandin says, “Physical contact is not optional; it’s a necessity for survival.”
2. Emotional Resilience: Along with the physical benefits, hugs are powerful emotional healers. Hugs raise oxytocin and serotonin levels in the brain, which helps lower stress, promotes positive emotions, accelerates physical healing and creates feelings of safety. In the words of psychotherapist Virginia Satir, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.”
3. Building Trust and Connection: Hugs become the cornerstone of trust-building between parents and children. It reinforces this bond, creating a safe space for open communication and understanding.

Drawbacks of the “Tight Slap” Method: A Retrospective Glance

1. Psychological Impact: Often heard and experienced by the older generation “You’ll get a tight slap across the face!”. This phrase was the most commonly heard to discipline children. However, there were psychological repercussions due to this action. As child psychologist Bruno Bettelheim cautions, “Punishment may make us obey the orders we are given, but at best, it will only teach an obedience to authority, not a self-control which enhances our self-respect.” 
2. Communication Breakdown: Resorting to physical discipline can lead to a breakdown in communication between parent and child. The child may withdraw himself out of fear or anger, disrupting the bond. Parents are children’s confidant, hence, they need to have a strong communication and bond.
3. Long-term Effects on Behavior: Studies suggest that tight slaps may be linked to long-term behavioral issues. Dr. Elizabeth Gershoff, a leading researcher on the effects of corporal punishment, emphasizes, “The more children are spanked, the more likely they are to be aggressive, defiant, and antisocial.”

An Evolution: How Did The Generation Change?

Generations can be defined as any set of events and life experiences that take place over a particular period which shapes their beliefs and values. For instance, the recent Gen Z survey revealed that this generation places high value on open communication and emotional transparency within their families. It was not limited to parenting practices alone, but applicable across all aspects of family life. Here are some of the reason for the generation change:

1. Shift in Societal Norms: As concluded in the survey, the shift from disciplinary approaches involving physical punishment to one centered on emotional connection was necessary. Due to widespread education, society began to progress, leaving behind myths and rigidty.
2. Research and Awareness: Extensive research on child development has highlighted the detrimental effects of physical punishment. As information became more accessible through internet, parents began to question traditional disciplinary methods, paving the way for a more compassionate and informed approach.
3. Parenting Resources and Communities: The rise of parenting resources and online communities has created a shared space for parents to exchange ideas and seek guidance. This catalyzed a shift away from punitive measures, nurturing kids rather than training them.

How to Maintain the Generation Change in Parenting?

Every parent has a moment where he or she loses it. They immediately resolve to physical methods when children “get on their nerves”. Certainly, in these troublesome situation, parents need to maintain their original approach of affectionate actions. Discipline is vital, thus, there should be a vibrant mixture of hugs and smacks. Here are some ways to maintain the affectionate bond:

1. The Timeout Hug: When faced with a challenging moment, initiate a “timeout hug.” This brief pause allows both parent and child to calm down and reconnect.
2. Touch of Humor : Transform tense moments into laughter. A touch of humor can diffuse tension and create a lighthearted atmosphere. After all, as the saying goes, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”
3. Storytelling Magic: Transport your child to a magical world through storytelling. Craft tales that subtly convey valuable lessons, fostering discipline and understanding. As Fred Rogers, the beloved host of “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood,” once said, “Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children, play is serious learning.”
4. Positive Reinforcements: In moments of frustration, turn to positive reinforcement. When you need to discipline your child, start with praising their good actions and then show them the negative ones. It may seem impossible, but it may become a habit at the end.
5. Play Games: Introduce games where both parent and child can express their feelings through drawings or words. This collective effort promotes emotional intelligence and opens areas for discussing challenging situations in a safe zone.

Conclusion

The generation change has greatly impacted the methods of parenting. From tight slaps to comforting, parents have shifted towards understanding their children holistically. As we navigate the  steps of parenthood, let us embrace the power of hugs, inculcating old school methods with modern approaches. With each comforting embrace, we contribute to a generation of emotionally intelligent individuals.  As parenting expert Jan Hunt notes,

“There is no such thing as a perfect parent, so just be a real one.”